I am on a first
date. It is 10:30 a.m. I am wearing ripped jeans, a ratty old race
T-shirt under two thick layers of polar fleece, and my hair has not
been washed in--well, I won't say how long.
I had a bout of anxiety about this date last night. What if I have
nothing to say? What if I can't make it work? How am I going to last
for three hours?
I arrived first, got coffee, found a table, unpacked, and settled
in. I was under way before Chris even showed up.
When she did, she told me she needed 10 minutes of therapy before
we got started: It had been a rough morning at home with her kids
but nothing unmanageable. She was, however, beside herself. Freaked
out. A mess. Finally, she realized that her panic was about our date.
Not so much about the fact that we had decided to meet, but that we
were getting together to write.
Chris is an assistant professor of English. She is a dynamic and adored
teacher, a hard-working member of our department who volunteers for
every committee, a head of a program that isn't even in her main discipline,
and a good friend to many. She has a rich and busy life that leaves
little time for the publishing she needs to do to earn tenure.
I have a butt-in-the-chair problem: I don't like sitting down to write.
If I can get myself into an appropriate writing space, I work hard.
But at home, there are papers to read, friends to call, classes to
prepare for, Internet sites to surf, an adorable pet rat to cuddle,
space to be stared into. It's a lot easier not to write than it is
to write.
Perhaps that's why I've found I am most productive writing in busy,
bustling places. Put me in an airport and I'll crank out an essay.
For me, finding the right place to write is essential.
One of the best pieces of advice I got in graduate school was to write
in a different place from where I read student work or did research.
It gave writing not only a privileged time, but also a special place;
being there meant being conditioned to do a certain kind of work.
If you're a runner, as I am, it's like going to the track. If I want
to have fun running, I hit the trails. But my body knows that if I
step foot onto a 400-meter oval, it's all business. The track is a
serious place, a locus of all work and no fun.
It's hard to get yourself out the door for a session of all work and
no fun. I'm a big fan of fun. I'm also a big fan of my friends. So
I've corralled Chris into agreeing to a regular writing date.
A while ago, when I lived in Durham, N.C., I had a running partner
named Jeff. He had been hired as a faculty member with the proviso
that he finish his dissertation in his first year. It wasn't going
well. As I was wont to drop by his office at random times during the
day, he decided that whenever I popped in and found him not working,
he would have to pay A while ago, when I lived in Durham, N.C., I
had a running partner named Jeff. He had been hired as a faculty member
with the proviso that he finish his dissertation in his first year.
It wasn't going well. As I was wont to drop by his office at random
times during the day, he decided that whenever I popped in and found
him not working, he would have to pay me $20.
That could have been a bonanza for me. But I won't take a friend's
money, and, more important, forking it over caused him no pain. He
was financially comfortable. His attempt at punitive self-motivation
was a lot easier than finishing the diss.
So instead, I started babysitting Jeff. I'd go to his office with
my computer and camp out. I'd work while he worked. Sometimes, when
he got really stuck, I would tell him to explain to me what he was
trying to write in the chapter and I would type it up. Then I'd show
it to him and tell him to fill in the technical details. In the process,
I learned that I can get a lot of writing done when I'm stuck in a
room with someone else who is writing.
When I moved to Montana, I found another running partner, coincidentally
also named Jeff. This one was an economist who, as a junior faculty
member, always had tons of grading to do and journal articles to write.
We would make dates to meet at a coffee shop and work in tandem, consuming
massive amounts of hot liquid and occasionally catching each other
surfing the Net. But I always ended up staying longer than I thought
I had in me, and getting more done. And I was always less miserable
than when I went by myself.
Now I'm in Spokane and haven't yet found a running partner or another
new friend named Jeff. But I have Chris. When I talked her into being
my new writing date, she was enthusiastic at first. Then she worried
that she would have to schlep around all of her books and research
materials.
No, I said. I know her well enough to know that she-- and many other
academics-- love doing research. What could be better than sitting
for two hours reading Wordsworth poems that you know and love? The
problem was that "working" for her meant doing the reading and thinking
that comes easily, naturally, and pleasurably. But that wasn't getting
journal articles or book proposals written.
I convinced Chris that she could get away with not schlepping her
stuff by using a writer's trick. When you get to a part where you
need to look up specific facts or flesh out more research, instead
of giving up and heading back to the familiar comfort of the library,
you write CHECK in the text and keep plowing on. Going back later
and actually checking things can be a satisfying task, like washing
the dishes after a good meal.
I also convinced her that busyness is one of the tics of academic
life. Professors are always way too busy. But carving out time for
writing is essential to production.
We've been here for two and a half hours. We took a short break to
eat and talk a bit. She showed me what she had so far. It's looking
good. I asked if it was OK if I wrote about her. "Sure," she said.
"You can say that, when faced with the prospect of a writing date,
I had a panic attack."
Chris knows she's not the only one who feels that way. For an academic,
going to work can mean many things. Filling up a day with productive
activity is not hard, but the work is also not always visible; committing
to spend three hours doing nothing but writing means that by the time
we leave, we will have something to show for it.
Today, at the end of our first date, Chris has a detailed outline
and a good start on a journal article. I have still-unwashed hair
and the first draft of a column.
I'm looking forward to our next date.